Reeeeelaaaax...

Everyone knows that summer is meant for a high school kid to sit back, relax, and unwind from school, homework, examinations, and just about almost anything to do with school. Except for food, if you're me, that is.



Summer is simply not meant for school. Period. Forget summer vacation and holiday classes. You do them at the start of the break, you'll forget whatever you've learnt by the time the next academic year starts. You do them towards the start of the school year, you'll end up receiving a verbal lashing out from your teachers, and the verbal lashings will be more than enough to make you twitch at any loud sounds, courtesy of THAT particular theory that Dilton used me to demonstrate during science class a few months back.



Oh, and what about girls? You've already seen 'em all at school. You can find all kinds of reasons to hang out with them during spring, fall, and winter. They should just leave us alone for the summer, and allow us to enjoy our summer in peace. No disturbances whatsoever. No distractions. An opportunity to enjoy barbeques, ice-cold lemonades, sleeping-in, a good day at the beach... No, scratch that, plenty of girls there. More sleeping-in, a nice cone of ice cream...



Of course, if you can play your cards right, you can mooch off food from some girls. Both Ethel Muggs and the lovely Elizabeth Cooper can cook like there is no tomorrow; each and every single dish they make tastes oh so divine.



Then again, you'd have to be careful not to get sucked in. I'm still trying to get over the time when Ethel got part-time jobs at two food chains to get me to fall for her - I believe I'm still in for another few months of nightmares of what might've been.

Hmmm? You were really expecting me to badmouth Betty? Oh, no. This is the story of how I fell in love with Elizabeth Cooper for who she was, and not what she can cook.



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It's one of those days where you feel something will come up that will change your life forever. You can't describe it, but you just feel it.


I was not surprised when my good pal, Arch, showed up at my doorstep with a letter in his hand. After all, he could've received a love letter from any one of the female population of Riverdale High. Those witches are still falling for that Photoshopped picture of himself left, right, and centre.


What surprised me, though, was that the look on his face was not one of joy, but one of someone who just received not just one, not two, but three kicks to the 'nads. OK, I was exaggerating on that, but you get what I mean.

"Jug, you've got to help me." Was that desperation that I heard in there? "Betty's gonna kill me when she founds out that I sent her on a wild goose chase!"

It took me a lot of energy to keep myself from yawning. "What did you do this time?" After so many times I've said it, there was no possible way to ask that question in a non-bored manner. I wouldn't be surprised if Archie is already used to that.

"I, eh..." Arch was at loss for words. "I kinda promised Betty that I'd spent summer backpacking around the world." Well, no surprise there. "Then Ronnie asked me if I'd like to spend summer going to even more exotic areas than what Betty suggested, and I agreed." Should I bother being surprised? "I got an email warning from Betty saying that she will track me down regardless of where I am, and..." Yeesh, that's a new one. "Ron had to cancel the trip in the end because she's down with a nasty flu, and I need someone to bring Betty back so that I can apologise to her."

Apologise? I really do pity Archie, y'know? Besides, given the unspoken threat, you'd have to wonder whether Betty's really a blonde or a redhead who's dyed her hair blonde. I can think of many guys who'd like to check if I'd ask them if Betty's a real blonde, but... I digress.

"Tell me, Arch, who do YOU really care for?" I had to ask the question. I mean, everyone I know of has yet to receive a clear answer on that topic. "Do you like Veronica for her cash and beauty, or do you like Betty for her practicality, her food, her helping you out with your schoolwork, and her beauty?" Even I can recognise female beauty. "Or perhaps you just like feeling bad for one of them to get brownie points?"

Before my redheaded friend could respond, a brilliant idea hit me.

"Pal, fortunately for you, I have been working quite a fair bit when school was in session, and was able to save some cash. Using my cash, I'll travel to some of these exotic places on a student budget thingy, and will look for Betty." He doesn't need to know that I'll also be sampling the cuisines in those countries as well.

So, after seeing Arch off, all I needed to do was to call the Coopers to found out where Betty would be heading to, convince my parents that it'd be an educational experience for me, get all my cash out, and book a few flights. How simple could it be?

Not very. Guess I probably gave the title the worst possible name.